It was my cousin Kimberley’s birthday recently and all my old friends that I used to hang out with every weekend when I was in high school, were there. It was great reminiscing about how young and silly we were and how we took life “with a pinch of salt”. I kept thinking to myself, wow.. I was kinda cool : ). People actually looked up to my cool persona and vibe attitude.
Now…
I’m not so sure.
I do know that getting older you realize that you can be doing young silly things in life, and you need to grow up and face the reality that not every situation is rainbows and flowers. Don’t get me wrong. You need to have a bit of fun but not constantly to a point where remembering is optional.
I’ve gotten to that stage in my life where I just want to find that someone special who wants to be happy with me no matter what situation I put them in. Who feels they can talk to be about anything and everything. Someone I can hold close to me when I need to and who won’t feel hurt when I have to face big girl problem by myself and push them away for a bit. But unfortunately, in my generation, this is not possible.
To be completely honest I’m still trying to work out the fact that I do and say inappropriate thing and I have this high expectation of guys and I get angry when they disappoint. This is one of the biggest problems I’m facing. I may be a really good companion but the things I do wrong are constantly highlighted and it replays in my brain making me do them without thinking because I don’t want to do them.. make sense?
I know I’m not the relationship type, but now that I want one it makes it that much harder for me. Challenges and obstacles in life are those that make or break you. These are things that define you as a person and whether or not you can channel yourself into thinking, being and doing things that you would not normally think, be or do.